It's still the 31st!

 

As of writing this, it is...
7:43 p.m, December 31st.
Last blog post of 2025, huh?

Man, compared to last year, and the year before that, i feel like i have literally nothing to say. But so much has happened, and I spent a good chunk of the year in Egypt, which i havent done before. 
I don't know how to even describe how I've changed this year. I don't know how to describe how I've engaged with my hobbies. All i know is I spent a shit ton on Golden Bomber merch.

...worth it. 0u0

I guess i'll start with what i found most pathetic about 2025, so i can end the post off on a positive note. Bear with me!!
First off, i got too discouraged to draw a ton of times. And it was for a dumb reason...i kept focusing too much on how others did it. How come i didnt seem to get anywhere at all? I was grateful a lot of my mutuals loved it, but no one outside of my circle of (very lovely) mutuals and (very lovely) friends seemed to care.
Looking back at it...
Maybe i was too harsh on myself. But also, my art was not the best; it was cute, but was it deserving of other peoples' attention? That's the kind of question i ruminate over every once in a while. For one, it is very amateurish, no matter how much i drew, it still ended up amateurish, and i feel like it had nothing going for it.
I really cant help but wish i couldve had a better motivation. Not focusing on how other people seemed to get better engagement didnt seem to help because the thought i was trying to get rid of was still being considered in that same phrase, not ignored. It was pathetic of me...but i hope i can at least try to draw for myself. I just wish i knew how to approach that hobby without being discouraged so easily, because drawing is actually kinda fun when i know what im doing (lol) but i do find myself struggling more often than not. I can't promise i'll draw again, but i'd like to at least try. I'm a bit conflicted as to whether i should get back to sharing it publically, or keep sharing it privately between me and my friends.

But one question remains; have I changed? Like, as a person? No matter what, i'm still selfish at my very core. I get what i want too easily, even though I think i should, i feel like i could be a bit more humble...but ive had friends say im quite the opposite; im altruistic and kind. I feel like, for my sake, i should accept this. I can be kind. I am kind. I am selfless. I am compassionate.
As much as i believe it, i also want to work towards these things like im not altruistic. I feel like itll make me better in a passive way...

I also have no idea if my PCOS has gotten any better despite me walking so much in a day.

That and also, i failed a-level bio. 
Not much to say about that =u=

This year had some positives though.

For one, i bought a shit ton of golden bomber merch, as stated. My DVD collection is as big as ever, with DVDs i never thought id buy!! Mukashi no Kinbaku and the limited ver of Yarebadekiru Ko have to be some of my best gets for DVDs this year. Such fun watches; Yarebadekiru Ko has a wonderful setlist and stageplay, and MNK is an absolute goldmine if you like nostalgic GB content. After all, all the stageplays are re-creations of their older stageplays. The whole premise of this tour is "nostalgia sells", just executed really really cool-ly! It's a very wonderful watch, and i think it should be easy to find it physically. I found mine for 1000 yen, which, for a DVD with 5 discs, is a steal!!!
I think DVDs are very very fun to collect, you should collect them too~! 0u0 
I also got...a Tralala mirror that i love, a Kenji akusta that i LOVE, and Golden Bomber towels that i promise i'll hang up in my room someday, bro. Trust me. 0u0

I started university. University gave me shitty modules (talking about anatomy. FUCK YOU), but it gave me...an actual friend group :,> 
At first, i only knew like three people, give or take, but now i'm in an actual group?!? And im included?!? What?!?!?!?
I'm endlessly grateful for them. They all make me laugh so much ;u; theyve been nothing but kind to me, and i hope i can get closer and closer to them next year...<3 I really dont appreciate them enough, and i should send them all messages wishing them a happy new year once i finish this post (lol)
Being alone for weeks at a time...it's made me feel pretty confident in myself, pretty independent and happy. I've also gotten to see some of my family, and gotten to see other parts of Cairo that i think are really really cool!!

I got to write a fic for someone for the first time!! It was a Daruupa fic i wrote for my friend Ari. Here it is to refresh your mind and also for shameless self-promo. I've written fics with other people in mind, but the main person who'd read my fics ended up being an abusive POS and as such it made me stray away from the hobby for a while. I only ever wrote basic <1k word fluff, but it was fun. It feels nice to be free from all that association. I hope I can write more. I wanna try and make doujinshi of my own, whether it be in novel or art form...

I got to practice gal makeup. I am still very lazy with it, but i got the basics down...all i need now are bottom lashes! ^u^ and maybe better skin that can tolerate foundation more...

I also want to thank all my blogger friends, by name this time!!

Thank you S for always being funny and encouraging me to blog about all the fun things in life through your own posts. Your decoblend edits are cute, and conversations with you never fail to make me giggle. To think we got so close because of a dumb meme i sent you...i could cry ;u;

Thank you Heni for always being supportive of my art, my writing, and my presence in clam. And thanks to everyone in clam, actually! All of you are great, and getting to reconnect with you all through this server has been one of the highlights of my year...<3

Thank you Ari for being as pervy towards Jun and Kenji as I am (lol)...jokes aside, youre as kind as you are cool, and it takes a lot to somehow be both!! Youve given me a reason to get back into writing, and i cant be grateful enough to be considered your friend. Keep striving!!

Thank you Rue for always being a source of unbridled joy in my life. No matter what you go through, you stay compassionate, and that in and of itself makes you better than you think. Youre my sister from another mister...(as in we're both arab and cute kimoi otaku girls who are waaaaaaaay too perverted towards their fave dudes)

And, thank YOU! THE PERSON READING THIS! Whether we've talked all year, or not at all, i'm still thankful for you, whoever you may be. ^u^

So, as much as i hate resolutions, here are some goals i'd like to achieve in 2026. I dont want to be too harsh on myself if i dont achieve them; but i'd like to work towards them:

~Getting by academically; getting good grades to the best of my ability.
~Improving my makeup skills.
~Make at least one full-blown doujinshi, preferably a Gakukiri or Daruupa one. Novel or fanfic, manga, doesnt matter...
~Going to Japan and seeing GB live. Id probably have to start saving from next year onwards, though...assuming i'd go in the summer. And that id do good academically to justify something so pricey!!
~Being kinder and more altruistic like people say i am; those words mean a lot to me, and as much as i accept them, i also want to live up to them as much as possible.
~Yes, buy more Kenji merch, but maybe rarer things...
~READ BOOKS!!!!! I WANNA READ IN THE MISO SOUP AND DARKLY DREAMING DEXTER!!!! AND ALSO HOUSE OF LEAVES, FOR SOME REASON!!!!

Bye, and have a happy 2026 full of indulgent cute things~~

(P.S, this is post number 69 for me. Nice.)

~Cat

ana_ta3bana.awy@yahoo

...
The title's a reference. It's a reference to an Ahmed Mekky movie. 

My friend just posted on her blog so I'm pulling a Koichi (u know, the drummer of the vkei band GUILD) and blogging not long after she does to bring her ranking down and piss her off. Koichi did it with Kenji, i can do it with her too.
...speaking of, i never liked that band name because it sounds identical to the arabic word for skin (said literally the same way lol). I mean, its a nice name, its just a funny coincidence is all. Koboresou na dermis no oku kara

Long-ish time no post~~~ I've been too busy chilling with my uni tomodachis and being a lazy bum. Funny thing is, i actually had a draft for a post.
It seems to not exist anymore.
I thought it autosaved.
It did not.
So i start from scratch...

In terms of personal talk...i did good in my midterms. Im very happy about that. Im not happy about finals. And practicals. I just finished my surgical simulation practical, and I'm nervous. There is...someone at university that makes me nervous. I'm keeping it vague but I don't know how i feel about him. At first i really liked him, but i'm not sure if that's the case anymore, it feels like he's changed a bit. I don't know how much longer I can be kind, but sacrificing my kindness is risky. It's whatever though.

Anyways~~ I've had a fair amount of fun this past week or so. I've been slacking on blogging about it all, though...but the two funnest things have been as follows: going to the mall on my own and going to see my friend for her birthday...

SO. The mall i went to is this pretty huge one~ It's at the entrance of the city so it's a bit of a...long ride. Still, very fun. 
I originally planned to tell NO ONE. But then i told my mom, because of course I did.

I took a very reasonable amount of time to prepare. Totally...
Of course, i had to take pics of the clutter from glamming myself up...

It got boring fast for some reason. Whether it's a me problem or not, I have no idea. It was nice walking all those steps though.
The one interesting thing was getting to do my usual Loser's Oshikatsu at whichever random cafe i felt like emotionally terrorizing with my iPhone 6 and Kenji akusta.

Ew, this picture is sooooooooooooooooooo ugly! Let me fix it up.

There we go~~~ All i did was give it botox (edit it with decoalbum) then some filler (edit it with decoblend) THEN some more botox (edit it with decoalbum so i can add the oshimen sticker). Do you like it? Say yes or youre fucking done for

My makeup was as follows:
Revolution basic matte eyeshadow but only the black shade for a makeshift smoky eye of sorts
Essence eyeliner pencil for a decent-looking waterline
Victorias secret lipgloss in strawberry fizz iirc? Either it or sugar high...and some concealer before it.

I had to edit this one bad because...my hand and face were two different shades, dude ;_; tell me i look cute, or i'll go crazy!

...I really need some circle lens, gosh.

OK. A week later, it was my uni friend's birthday.
She doesn't know i blog...so I'll only show my pics, or something (lol) I wouldn't mind telling her though. I'd give my uni friends the URL tbh...im just shy (lol)

Ok, but before i show off the gifts, here's what i got for myself.
New lashes and some winter gloves.
The winter gloves are a bit too big...
The lashes are cute~~~

Obligatory clutter pic...if you havent already, do peep my JC perfume~~~ It's very nice, and i want another.

OK! Here's what I got her.
WALLET: Because why not?
CHOCO NOTEBOOK: It was funny. And it's practical.
LEATHER BRACELETS: Seems like something she'd wear.
(NOT SHOWN) SET OF SILVER PYRAMIDS: Because why not?!
The bookstore i got the choco notebook from had my favorite Dork Diaries book; HOLIDAY HEARTBREAK. I wanted it, but i already got myself stuff...it was 500 egp, no idea if id even wanna buy it anyways (lol)

Subpar selfie before i leave.

It was another long ride~ but the place she's at is very very VERY nice, so it was very much worth it. There's this nice outdoors shopping center-type place in the same city, and passing by it made me think...wow, i wanna go to more parts of Cairo on my own. ;^; Maybe even just this country as a whole. 

It ended up being a bit of a small function~~ it was me, the b-day girl herself, and two friends. 
We had tiramisu; delicious tiramisu. Doesnt compare to the one the cafe back home that shut down had...but still good. (lol)

We watched a documentary on...orgasms. 
It was my idea.
I'm sorry.

B-day girl's friend really really likes Salaheldin Ayoubi. The Egyptian sultan, Salaheldin Ayoubi. She's cool though~ I get it. I was really into Horus as a kid...i'd imagine myself being his wife?????? I was like 8...

SO. After a shit ton of talking and laughing, we watched Teer Enta, my favorite Ahmed Mekky movie ever. He was really hot as a whitewashed dude...not much to say but i needed him bad. 

I left at around 9 PM and had nachos for dinner~~~
I'm really craving them again...but i gotta wait til the weekend!!!

Look into my pa-gyaru eyes.

I pinky promise I had mascara on my bottom lashes...

Today, I downloaded the Utatte Kiririnpa album. I love love love the Mousou Nikki cover, and the cover of Saudade is also pretty (chefs kiss)...the Vanilla cover is a cover, it's of Vanilla, you know,

...

That's just about every notable thing.

Bye!

~Cat

Little Recap ~~~

 

It's getting cold now.
The cold here isn't one I'm really used to, per se~~ I've stayed here in the winter before and all, but...i havent experienced it on my own, not like this. It's not sunny anymore, and if anything, it actually rained yesterday. Not at uni...but just in Cairo, generally (lol). Seems like my bitching paid off, and now the weather is actually pleasant...even though i'll have to do a LOT to get cozy, i'll have to put on a bunch of face creams so my face doesnt peel, lots of blankets, just a lot of stuff!!! 

My first practical exam is this Sunday. I'd assume it's probably one of my only practical exams, because we didnt even get a schedule for all our practicals...it's a biochem practical where we have to do like, both colorimetry AND a urine analysis test, or maybe it's one or the other. Man...it's not that difficult but i cant really practice it like i did with injections since we have to use a colorimeter and stuff...not that easy for at-home practice (lol)

Yesterday was a pretty busy day.
When i woke up, my friend called me as i was getting ready~ 
She was calling me from the karaoke room of all places (lol) I got her to sing Trauma Kyabajou through brute force and coercion (asking her in a really annoying way) and the second she sung, i screamed really loudly as if i was fangirling, so i probably ruined her score. Sorry. She also showed me this karaoke-exclusive video for 101 Kaime no Noroi. Kenji was really dumb the whole time. I liked it. 

Then i left for uni. It was a pretty short day; I only had two labs. My anatomy lab was embarassing. My histology lab ended in less than 20 minutes...? I couldnt get my portfolios signed, though. Forgot them at my dorm and i wasnt expecting to stay another week alone. Hopefully next week i remember. After it, i had to meet my aunt because she had come here for a bit, so i had lunch over at her place. I had to wait a whole hour for it. That was ok, but then, two of my cousin's cousins visited? And one of them said something pretty stupid about me. Whatever. I left not long after that. Couldn't handle it...

Barely even got to see my girls that day!!! It feels nice being a part of a friend group...they seem to really like me, they accept me for my perverted-ness AND they see me as a kind and cute girl????? I cant believe it...i'm already chatting w them outside of uni but i wanna hang out with them too! Hopefully without skipping any classes (lol)

The night was a bit of a waste. After i studied, i called that same friend again for 4 hours straight. It was like 2 am for her or something so she was muted the whole time, but she sent well over 1,000 messages of bullshit that made me giggle really bad. I read this Aki x Tsurugi fanfic to her and it had us laughing, then i read MY Gackt x Sho fanfic and it had us laughing even more. Probably because i kept giving everyone funny voices. She kept making fun of my (very easy to make fun of) dialogue for Gackt, and i laughed so bad my face hurt. Then, we drew on Magma and i was so irritated by how the brushes looked like shit because i was using my finger to draw. Ugh...regardless, it was so so so so so so fun.

Then i worked on my fic some more and...overslept, causing me to miss the whole day. Well, i woke up at 10 AM but my mom was like "well if you wanna go back to sleep, you can!" so i did because who knows just how often i'll have the privilege of sleeping in during lecture hell day!!! (lol) Hopefully that doesnt happen again, though. 

...
Hey, do you remember that trade between me and Ari?
Well, i finished it, and put it up on AO3. 
Here it is! It's just a simple 2.2k word fluff fic, i explain a bit more in the note. Ari really liked it so i hope you do too!!!!
I'll be honest...it feels like i regressed. In terms of fic writing, i mean. I know it's just a hobby, but...i feel like my descriptive skills especially regressed a lot, and IDK what to do about that ;A; hmm...

Bye!

~Cat

Snip Snip

 

Tumblr actually isnt that bad. I've just gotten bored of it for seemingly no reason...no one's there. Or so it seems. But it's nice writing text posts on there. I forgot how cathartic it is...
Weeellllll. It's another weekend~ I'm back at my place and i'm somewhat free, like i always am, every week. I think eating is slowly becoming less of a torturous task, but still, whenever i make myself food in the dorms air fryer, there's this weird smell. Apparently its normal for my air fryer, but it makes me not wanna eat. I feel like whatever weight i may have lost (probably just like 2 pounds let's be honest lol) while i wasnt eating much is suddenly back now...no idea how to feel about that? Kinda sad my stupidity took me to the point where i literally had to be disgusted by food in order to lose any weight at all...well, ive been walking more again, bit by bit. I used to average like 5-7k steps a day, maybe even 10k, but after my family came to visit, my average suddenly went down by a ton!!!!! ;A; noooo...

Recently, I've been having these bouts of dizziness that make studying pretty difficult. Not sure what they could be. So, i suppose this is what my life is now.
But, my practicals are in...nearly two weeks. I have to get over myself!!!! I think every module has its own practical, but i only know for sure that biochem is one i have. It's unclear for everything else ;_; Well, i guess i'll just read my lectures on my phone.
Before i go back home for vacation this January, i really wanna have a buyee haul. But my mom says i'll have to do this weird thing called "proving myself". But i dont think it needs all that anymore. Associating buyee hauls with my grades has brought hell upon my life. There are other things i can prove myself with...i think. Plus, maybe i can include something for my brother since January's his birthmonth...maybe some JP fangamer exclusive deltarune merch since he likes deltarune. But his interests change a lot so i dont know...but i also can not bring that idea up. It'll come off as selfish...

Another thing that's been torturing me is Waive disbandment. I love them so much. I've only known them for two years but i love them so much, especially Yoshinori. I'm so sad to see them go. I hope it means maybe we'll get some YS solo work, but i doubt it...I'm so sad about it. Really...
I wanna go to Japan and see them on their last live!!!
Anyways, I'll stop being pathetic now lol

Yesterday, I got a haircut. 
It was after uni; since it was a Thursday, it was what i like to call "lecture hell" day. I could barely stay awake during the first two...anyways, once it was all over, i went to a mall to go...get a haircut! 
I was two whole entrances away from where the salon was. And it's a huge mall...so i had to do a ton of walking. By the time i got there, i was a nervous mess. I asked for a sidepart, and didnt get a sidepart, at least not the one i wanted. I got this cute face framing thing going on though.
I haven't cut my hair in well over half a year...even then, it was a simple cut, nothing major. The last time i went to a hair salon though, that was July 2024...lol. I really suck at taking care of my hair. Sometimes i go days at a time without brushing it. It tangles fairly easy. The fact it still grows is a miracle...on the way home, i panicked over how it looks, but when i went home, i really liked it. It kinda looks like typical gal model hair. Kinda. It's really cute. Trust me.

...I'll add a picture whenever i can. Hehe.

Today was pretty quiet. Mostly, i just studied and paced around the house to get my steps in. I think, tomorrow, I want to go to my favorite cafe and eat breakfast there. I wanna stay here longer. Maybe go back to the dorm on Monday instead. Hm...

Bye!

~Cat

12th month, last month...

 

Oh god. 
Today was my very last midterm; it was a pretty easy practical exam on this module we have called "Early Clinical Exposure". I had to ask a doctor pretending to be a patient some questions to reach a diagnosis and its one of two scenarios; either theyre suffering from a cough, or theyve been vomiting...i got vomiting, which, ok, i studied that, that's fine. But the exam itself...god. Not even two questions in and the doctor hits me with the "where were you born? your arabic's kinda weak." and now i'm like, SHIT, do i have to tell you? Well, i was born outside of Egypt, spent my formative years mostly speaking english, so...i guess that explains it? Anywho, it caught me offguard and i ended up forgetting to ask about exacerbating and relieving factors, as well as misc. symptoms that i probably didnt lose much marks over...ugh. Talking to my mom about it calmed me down, but I'm still pretty sad. I really can't help but be sad. It's not good though...

It's gotten pleasantly cold...is what i would say if it got pleasantly cold. God, the weather here SUCKS. It's all nice and winter cold~ cute~ until it's 2pm and SUDDENLY it's sunny again???????????? Seriously, you guys.
Everyone reading this...
Stop contributing to global warming, i want a nice winter. Really. I don't want it to go back to 28C in the middle of the day for no reason.

...
It was Kenji's birthday 5 days ago. I couldn't do anything that day. I also forgot to write a nice blog post or do anything meaningful for it. All i did was retweet fanart.
I feel very bad for wasting ketsuba like this.
I am a very bad person. (No I'm not but I'll pretend i am if i have to)
I'm gonna get some molten chocolate cake whenever i can to make up for it...
Also, did you hear he's not gonna do SASUKE this year? I'm pretty sad about it...but considering his health as well as tour activities play into why...i wont let it make me irrationally sad or anything. That and also he's been showing allergy symptoms because he's been overtraining. It was so bad, GACKT of all people wrote his long twitter threads talking about it. It hits me right here dude (hits my right boob) it hits me in my heart where it hurts
It's nice seeing Kyan avenge him like he always does. And even nicer to see Hikaru isn't gonna be there because i honestly kinda hate snowman. Don't tell anyone.

I haven't been keeping up with my friends' blogs too well either. Sorry you guys...
I don't have much of a reason (shrug) i'm pretty lazy~~~~ lol

Well, i dont want to have to tag this as a minipost because of how short of a read it is, but i think this is all i have to say that's of note. I listened to findher.ogg and had to try not to cry. I started a draft of something. I'm starting a lot of things. Getting back into art ended up reviving kind of a new fear that i'll abandon it like i do with every other hobby, then have a moment of lucidity where it's all i want to do. It happened with my website...but i think it's different with drawing, now that only certain people (very supportive, lovely people too for that matter) see it...

I won't lose to laziness this time m(_ _)m 

Bye!

~Cat