Approach everything with humility

 

Hi, I'm Cat, I finally beat Ven Kinako, and now im stuggling to progress regardless, but hey, Jack and Koritora are here~ And my Syumitaro finally has a fucking skill (lol)

Currently writing this on my phone, not a usual thing for me. For one, formatting on here is hellish, the images have a mind of their own, but it's 5 AM and i closed my laptop already. 

Today was a nice day, I ate at Chili's~ they bought my favorite appetizer back! The spinach queso...it's just as good as I remember it being. Shame it's a limited edition dish...then i went to the supermarket with my dad and got a cinnamon donut and coffee as a treat!

Ok, let me bitch and whine a little bit.

I already talked about this in another post, but i feel like im at some weird standstill when it comes to doing anything creative. For blogging, it's fine, for writing, meh, not sure, but for drawing, that's where everything's going to shit, mentally speaking. I just can not, for the life of me, do this anymore. I really can't. I feel like a gallery of wasted potential. Well, it's really no one's fault but mine because I have this habit of not wanting to draw unless I am totally and entirely sure people will pay attention to me for it. If i get no attention, it's the same as getting nothing out of it. And if i get nothing out of it, then it's not worth it to ever try and draw again...It's honestly disgusting...i want to draw for myself again. I want to be able to draw again. I want to do more for myself. But then again, me wanting this doesn't come from a place of altruism, if anything, it's the polar opposite; my need to draw for attention is selfish, and so is my need to draw for myself, so i really cant win, and i dont know what to do, it's been taking a toll on me all night. Every second i was awake, i felt like scum, it was all i could think about...

But then again, that hate and feeling of Whatever This Is made me wanna distract myself, and distract i did...I progressed some more in MO4, and now im on a raft, and i dont know what to do, its pissing me off. This might be the worst area in the game. But then again, i say that about every area in the game...

My left ear feels like it's gonna explode...well, I'll make this a minipost (lol). Good night!

~Cat

Couture Couture induced manic state

 

2026 will be the year of...perversion, no academic failures, surrounding myself with nice girls and hot dudes, and...

COLLECTING A BUNCH OF JUICY COUTURE PERFUMES!!!

Well, surely i dont need every JC perfume, no? (lol) But I just got another one thanks to my mom! She is utterly beautiful...

Behold...Couture Couture~ my only other JC perfume is Viva la Juicy, so this is a very very nice addition. It smells like an assortment of sticky honey-coated fruits, decadent and sweet. To me, it's perfect; a very unique scent profile, distinctly feminine, distinctly...Couture. I looooove the honeysuckle scent, I can't stop smelling it.
It's from 2009, so it's on the older side of JC perfumes...she's kinda like Viva la Juicy's cool and cute oneesan. Despite VLJ releasing a year before CC...

Maybe i need to stop here.

It smells good. If you like sticky sweet white floral scents, buy this. Mine was missing that charm but i dont care (lol). It was so very worth it.

Ok, I know i started that post off with my perfume, but to make it longer and better, I'm gonna talk about the mall. I went to the mall today! And of course, I took pics with Henriette...

One of the things at Daiso that i thought looked cute...
Didnt see a reason for buying it. Maybe once I pick up sweets deco? (lol)

Dogs of any age find certain noises appealing.

Cute tissue pack...i wanna mochimochi asobi too..

Shouldve gotten it. ;-;

I originally came for this jewelry stand i wanted to get, but couldnt find...

So i left empty handed =.= the oshikatsu selection there suuuuuuuucks.

Over-exposure ruined this but i wanted to take my obligatory necklace pic.

The power of not knowing who Narciss Kenji is shines within you.

I ate too much bullshit, I went to the cinema and had nachos...

But a few hours after I came back, after inhaling too much of my perfume...fumes, I finished what is possibly one of Egypt's best worst movies, Mo7taram ela Roba3 (The title translates to something like decent save for a 1/4th??? but thats too literal. The imdb page has this english title for it thats like three quarters decent so i think thats a better tl lol)

Mohamad Ragab is really cute. In this movie you can see him do a lot of things, such as be beaten nearly to death, get married afterwards like its nothing, get drunk, destroy a cake, do epic parkour, shave his beard off...it's really good if you like Mohamad Ragab. Reading up on his acting career was fucking crazy. What did this movie DO. After it, he stopped starring in movies for a good 4 years. And i dont know what the reason actually was so ill just assume that this movie was so abhorrent it made him stop doing movies for a good 4 years

That and also his acting debut was fucking LE DESTIN? THE YOUSSEF CHAHINE MOVIE? WITH MOHAMAD MOUNIR? Im getting a headache...

Now i need to watch every movie hes been in, ever. Welcome to my club of rando ikemen...(shoves him in)

C........ckchkgh............cuuuuuuuuute............

Not the best frame, though.

Not a lot of guys look cute after sobering up, getting a life and shaving their beard. But he does~

So much for sobering up, getting a life and shaving your beard. But after this, he saved his family from random kidnappers, so it's almost like he DIDN'T fuck those twin sisters, haha!

Worst and most confusing watch yet, typical of a Sobky movie. Very perverted with the cleavage shots and sex jokes, and the...abuse and kidnapping. 10/10. I hope to never watch this movie again.

Good night! My stomach hurts really bad and it's super late.

~Cat

76% pass rate, huh

 

Hi, I'm Cat, and I can't beat Ven Kinako.

The toilet from MO4.

That's their name.

Ven Kinako.

I...I can't, for the life of me, get past turn 14 at most...ugh.

Well, well, well~ Vacation's here. I initially got scared thinking my exam results would come out today, but turns out that's just for other faculties...but ours is soon to come. 

Just let me pass biochem and histology...

They said that the biochem module actually had a 76% pass rate. Genuinely crazy...

Enough uni talk, please. Everytime i talk about results here, it never works in my favor...

Ok! So, I'm back home, and this time, it was my first airport trip alone. 

Not much pics for this, but before I left, I hung out with my friends one last time to get lunch. I got chinese food and it was GOOD! I enjoyed it heavily...but I had to leave quick.

Going to the airport alone ended up being...less hard than I thought. But GOD, was waiting stressful! I did what I could to close the lights...but I think I forgot to close one on the way out...shit. OR MAYBE I DID. And everythings actually totally super OK.

...I sneakily ate a Kinder Bueno on the way there. Rude...

That's me in my mom's old coat. According to her, I'd barf on it as a baby.

...the barfer has become the wearer.

It's a very stylish coat~~~

The duty free is an absolute must whenever I'm at the airport. There, they had a whole shelf of...JUICY COUTURE PERFUMES!!!! EEK!!!! I was fangirling so hard, facetiming my mom like LOOK WHAT I JUST FOUND. JUICY!!!!!!!!!! 

...Much to the chagrin of the suited-up staff dude. Sorry dude. 

Well, he seemed excited to show me everything. My mom wanted me to check for these specific Narcisco Rodriguez perfumes, patchouli musc and jasmine musc. They only had patchouli musc...

I was gonna get her a perfume. That is a stupid idea, but, well, I am full of stupid ideas...when it comes to giving, I am too ambitious, only to end up doing fuck-all. I did get her some mascara she's been wanting, though. Seeing how happy she was made it all the worthwhile <3 

My biggest regret?
...not taking any time to smell anything.

Save for one perfume! I think it was that C'est moi one. 

As expected for JC it smelled absolutely fucking delectable. I need it. I need her. I need her. I need her. I need her. I need her. I need her. I need...

Candid pic I took after leaving the lounge (which I ate a bunch of fish in...)
I love this cologne, designwise.

Again...heavily regretting how I didnt smell it...it seems sexy. I will only get married to a man if he smells like this cologne (whatever it may smell like) daily, through sweat and filth, through...not sweat and filth, all day, every day! (<- Going boy crazy again)

Waiting for the plane...
Uhm, it got delayed by half an hour. 

It was a very painful 5 minutes of standing...

And now I'm home~~~
It's nice here, I'm gonna go out tomorrow! I'm so excited ^.^

The weather when I left was pleasantly cold...I'll really miss it when spring comes. 

Spring is a season I have mixed feelings towards. Feels like a beacon of hope, but it's when things go to shit academically...

But, the weather is always so nice. It feels nice. It is nice. Spring is nice.

Ah, and there's Ramadan!

It's in...like...three weeks...ugh...fasting in my dorm is gonna be difficult. I can barely get myself to eat a proper meal when I'm there!!! 

Besides all this, there isn't much to talk about...I wish there was. 

I've been feeling the usual demotivation-gakkari-cant-get-myself-to-draw-or-write combo, but that's not new...It's really just irrational now, I can't open Wordpad to write, can't open Krita to draw, can't progress in Marikin Online 4...I want to be the center of attention in my own head again u.u it feels like there's no motive for me to do any of those things...no reward, no moral, nothing. It just makes drawing and writing feel pointless, but I feel that way all the fucking time, so i think it's about time i change it already...

Don't get it twisted I still wanna make R18 Golden Bomber doujins

I might open up an old fic and continue it to the best of my ability...but it's 2 A.M now. And I'm kinda sleepyyy...

Oh, check out my new label for Henriette (iPhone 6) posts. I'll add all my posts with iPhone 6 pics to that label soon, so...uhm, check in a bit.

Bye!

~Cat

Mondai dake no watashitachi

 

Finals have started, and my life has ended. 

I started this draft before my biochem final; i just did it a few days ago...it was horrible. The MCQs sucked, as just as it couldnt get any worse, as soon as i even dared to look to the right, i was immediately called by a supervisor lady to sit at the front. Im not used to exam room discipline, so i didnt try to fight back, but...I did ask to be sat back where I was, to which i got a yes, then a no. It left me stressed for a while, and i was mostly just toughing out the questions. The essay section couldve been easier if i could remember anything, as per usual. Just a horrible, horrible exam, and now im scared I'll have to retake the module. It's hopefully not that bad, but i've played this shitty exam game before, and it's not fun...ugh. Everyone's complaining about the exam and even threatening to take it to the admission office to open an investigation on whether these questions should even be in the exam in the first place, and apparently my supervisors werent the only shitty ones.

I've had this as a draft for a while...
I finished the final after it; cellular biology. After googling some of the stuff I wrote in the essay section, I think im not nearly as doomed (lol) which is comforting, but now I gotta focus on the next one, histology. A total beast...

Not to mention, after my cellular bio final, a bunch of family came over...T_T it was a bad day to see anyone, My cousin came over and he stayed for a bit, my aunt joked about how she shouldnt be seeing him because he has finals...
...while staying over at our place while I have finals. 

My stress responses have been fucked beyond belief, I can't believe it. Yesterday, after my exam, i felt sick and so i measured my blood sugar. It dropped to about 80something mg/dl after breakfast by 2-3 hours, which, while being safe, is pretty low. 
Before that, the day of my biochem final, a good while after it, I got these horrible heart palpitations after dinner. My chest hurt because of them for a bit, then it calmed down to just residual...palpitation-feeling. I measured my blood sugar, 125 mg/dl, still safe for the timeframe i measured it in (2-3 hours after eating). Still, it's kinda scary...usually, I feel ok, but then all that stress hits, and I feel like my body's doing this against my own will. My body hates me because I spoil it with too much kinder bueno

There's so much to worry about, it's making my shoulders all tingly and tense!!!!!!! How will the rest of my finals go? Will i get those sweet sweet portfolio grades?? HOW WILL I LIVE??????? All this month has been is worry after worry, and it's all my fault...but i'll be ok, promise.

I'm very excited for vacation. I need to go back to my dorm and fetch all my bags and clothes!!! It's been forever since I wore any of my Golden Bomber shirts ;A; I can't wait to go back home! FAST WI-FI! MY GOLDEN BOMBER MERCH THAT I'LL BE TAKING WITH ME! MY CUTE ROOM! MY BED THAT'S NEAR A WALL! DAISO!!!!! ACCESSORY PLACE!!!!! Woot woot~

Ok, I've got some Mounir playing, so I'll be fine.

 
If you're a not-so-regular reader of this blog, you might know that before the J-pop, I was suuuuuper into 80s Egyptian music as a kid, especially Hameed and Mohamad Mounir.

When I was 8 or 9, I liked Hameed more, but now I favor Mounir much much more; his way of thinking about music, his way of thinking about art, his international releases (lol sorry habibi funk), it speaks to me a lot more than Hameed's stuff.
I still love Hameed, but his international releases SUUUUUUUUCK and all it is is Habibi Funk (shitty ass name btw. habibi funk???? get real) and he used AI like a year ago so...Mounir it is. Mounir also used AI in like 2023 but its ok the guys old. 
...ahem, rant aside, I heavily recommend starting off with his Shababeek album, it's some of his best work under Sonar Slam, the first label he was under, and it's generally regarded as a pretty revolutionary album for Egyptian pop; and rightfully so. Admittedly, its a pretty depressing album (once you learn the context behind the title track at least), so maybe West el-Dayra is a better album...? It's got more of a folk style to it, with a Nubian song and a cover of a Moroccan song in Darija, so if thats more your style, do check it out~ 0u0

I also like the Farha album, it's one of his more international pop-style releases, which he's also really really good at! It's got some wonderful tracks, but it's not one i come back to nearly as often as his Sonar Slam releases. (I am listening to a song off of Farha though, lol. I downloaded it to make a joke video of it with Yutaka Kyan pictures...? I never made it)

I've also been looping the same two Pudding Alamode songs, Mondai no Aru Watashitachi and Anti-idol. The former has a really nice almost Strawberry Switchblade-like sound...cute~ I associate these songs with Naruken and Junko too, because im sick in the head

Alongside that...I've ALSO been replaying Marikin Online 4.
Osaru's kinda a litty DILF?
Sorry. He's just my favorite human. The whitest Egyptian man I've ever seen*
*not really Egyptian but TBF you meet him in a pyramid so he's Egyptian by proxy to me. Tahya Masr

My favorite numa is, and always has been, Jack. Total loser, selfish, talks to the gacha games on his phone...that's just me if i was a man (lol)
Not everyone knows this, but i was also into MO4 back in like early 2020, like January. The first MO4 picture i saved on my old phone (...my iPhone 6 that i now use for pictures. Not sure if its the same one tho) was a picture of Jack in his old Amazonic Satellite skill. The one where his comically large dick just shoots to the moon? It makes me emotional looking at videos of that skill, I was such a stupid teenager. For reasons i...dont wanna share, but i said stupid, edgy shit about my parents that tainted my relationship with them, and that, I resent myself for, but it's been 6 years now. I know now to not do that (lol). 
I kinda fell out of love with MO4 for a few years, but I miss getting random ryona fanart of Jeraldy and/or Kirimi on my twitter TL. It's been fun to replay despite my shitty Japanese <3 Well, i also have...barely any RPG experience, so I am quite bad at MO4...but I can't wait to have Jack on my party, his skills seem really good and it'd make deplorable teen me happy if i could be able to hear that AMAZON WA WARE NO HOUKOU (screams of agony) voiceline...it still sounds sexy to me all those years later~ lol

My sexy husbando to the right~~~~

Bye!

~Cat

It's still the 31st!

 

As of writing this, it is...
7:43 p.m, December 31st.
Last blog post of 2025, huh?

Man, compared to last year, and the year before that, i feel like i have literally nothing to say. But so much has happened, and I spent a good chunk of the year in Egypt, which i havent done before. 
I don't know how to even describe how I've changed this year. I don't know how to describe how I've engaged with my hobbies. All i know is I spent a shit ton on Golden Bomber merch.

...worth it. 0u0

I guess i'll start with what i found most pathetic about 2025, so i can end the post off on a positive note. Bear with me!!
First off, i got too discouraged to draw a ton of times. And it was for a dumb reason...i kept focusing too much on how others did it. How come i didnt seem to get anywhere at all? I was grateful a lot of my mutuals loved it, but no one outside of my circle of (very lovely) mutuals and (very lovely) friends seemed to care.
Looking back at it...
Maybe i was too harsh on myself. But also, my art was not the best; it was cute, but was it deserving of other peoples' attention? That's the kind of question i ruminate over every once in a while. For one, it is very amateurish, no matter how much i drew, it still ended up amateurish, and i feel like it had nothing going for it.
I really cant help but wish i couldve had a better motivation. Not focusing on how other people seemed to get better engagement didnt seem to help because the thought i was trying to get rid of was still being considered in that same phrase, not ignored. It was pathetic of me...but i hope i can at least try to draw for myself. I just wish i knew how to approach that hobby without being discouraged so easily, because drawing is actually kinda fun when i know what im doing (lol) but i do find myself struggling more often than not. I can't promise i'll draw again, but i'd like to at least try. I'm a bit conflicted as to whether i should get back to sharing it publically, or keep sharing it privately between me and my friends.

But one question remains; have I changed? Like, as a person? No matter what, i'm still selfish at my very core. I get what i want too easily, even though I think i should, i feel like i could be a bit more humble...but ive had friends say im quite the opposite; im altruistic and kind. I feel like, for my sake, i should accept this. I can be kind. I am kind. I am selfless. I am compassionate.
As much as i believe it, i also want to work towards these things like im not altruistic. I feel like itll make me better in a passive way...

I also have no idea if my PCOS has gotten any better despite me walking so much in a day.

That and also, i failed a-level bio. 
Not much to say about that =u=

This year had some positives though.

For one, i bought a shit ton of golden bomber merch, as stated. My DVD collection is as big as ever, with DVDs i never thought id buy!! Mukashi no Kinbaku and the limited ver of Yarebadekiru Ko have to be some of my best gets for DVDs this year. Such fun watches; Yarebadekiru Ko has a wonderful setlist and stageplay, and MNK is an absolute goldmine if you like nostalgic GB content. After all, all the stageplays are re-creations of their older stageplays. The whole premise of this tour is "nostalgia sells", just executed really really cool-ly! It's a very wonderful watch, and i think it should be easy to find it physically. I found mine for 1000 yen, which, for a DVD with 5 discs, is a steal!!!
I think DVDs are very very fun to collect, you should collect them too~! 0u0 
I also got...a Tralala mirror that i love, a Kenji akusta that i LOVE, and Golden Bomber towels that i promise i'll hang up in my room someday, bro. Trust me. 0u0

I started university. University gave me shitty modules (talking about anatomy. FUCK YOU), but it gave me...an actual friend group :,> 
At first, i only knew like three people, give or take, but now i'm in an actual group?!? And im included?!? What?!?!?!?
I'm endlessly grateful for them. They all make me laugh so much ;u; theyve been nothing but kind to me, and i hope i can get closer and closer to them next year...<3 I really dont appreciate them enough, and i should send them all messages wishing them a happy new year once i finish this post (lol)
Being alone for weeks at a time...it's made me feel pretty confident in myself, pretty independent and happy. I've also gotten to see some of my family, and gotten to see other parts of Cairo that i think are really really cool!!

I got to write a fic for someone for the first time!! It was a Daruupa fic i wrote for my friend Ari. Here it is to refresh your mind and also for shameless self-promo. I've written fics with other people in mind, but the main person who'd read my fics ended up being an abusive POS and as such it made me stray away from the hobby for a while. I only ever wrote basic <1k word fluff, but it was fun. It feels nice to be free from all that association. I hope I can write more. I wanna try and make doujinshi of my own, whether it be in novel or art form...

I got to practice gal makeup. I am still very lazy with it, but i got the basics down...all i need now are bottom lashes! ^u^ and maybe better skin that can tolerate foundation more...

I also want to thank all my blogger friends, by name this time!!

Thank you S for always being funny and encouraging me to blog about all the fun things in life through your own posts. Your decoblend edits are cute, and conversations with you never fail to make me giggle. To think we got so close because of a dumb meme i sent you...i could cry ;u;

Thank you Heni for always being supportive of my art, my writing, and my presence in clam. And thanks to everyone in clam, actually! All of you are great, and getting to reconnect with you all through this server has been one of the highlights of my year...<3

Thank you Ari for being as pervy towards Jun and Kenji as I am (lol)...jokes aside, youre as kind as you are cool, and it takes a lot to somehow be both!! Youve given me a reason to get back into writing, and i cant be grateful enough to be considered your friend. Keep striving!!

Thank you Rue for always being a source of unbridled joy in my life. No matter what you go through, you stay compassionate, and that in and of itself makes you better than you think. Youre my sister from another mister...(as in we're both arab and cute kimoi otaku girls who are waaaaaaaay too perverted towards their fave dudes)

And, thank YOU! THE PERSON READING THIS! Whether we've talked all year, or not at all, i'm still thankful for you, whoever you may be. ^u^

So, as much as i hate resolutions, here are some goals i'd like to achieve in 2026. I dont want to be too harsh on myself if i dont achieve them; but i'd like to work towards them:

~Getting by academically; getting good grades to the best of my ability.
~Improving my makeup skills.
~Make at least one full-blown doujinshi, preferably a Gakukiri or Daruupa one. Novel or fanfic, manga, doesnt matter...
~Going to Japan and seeing GB live. Id probably have to start saving from next year onwards, though...assuming i'd go in the summer. And that id do good academically to justify something so pricey!!
~Being kinder and more altruistic like people say i am; those words mean a lot to me, and as much as i accept them, i also want to live up to them as much as possible.
~Yes, buy more Kenji merch, but maybe rarer things...
~READ BOOKS!!!!! I WANNA READ IN THE MISO SOUP AND DARKLY DREAMING DEXTER!!!! AND ALSO HOUSE OF LEAVES, FOR SOME REASON!!!!

Bye, and have a happy 2026 full of indulgent cute things~~

(P.S, this is post number 69 for me. Nice.)

~Cat