A little talk

It happens every time...

Every time, without fail, i open a blogger window,

type a few lines,

save it as a draft,

and never come back to it again.

This summer has been tedious. For one, my Egypt trip involved a LOT of going to Cairo, surviving off of me and my mom's mobile data (lol), and finishing up college docs. 

College as a whole seems to be finalized ^.^ I'm officially a student, and i'm starting medical school. I know right? A total dweeb like me going into medical school (lol) truth is, i actually wanted to get into something web design related, but it requires taking AS math, and i am...not good at math. So that idea was scrapped in favor of Anything Else. It seems like more of the easier options (at least when it comes to Egypt) require math to some degree...actually, just about everything requires AS math. It's incredibly tough because it narrows your options really badly if you arent good at math. First world problems right?

Ive been trying to the best of my abilities to keep me getting into med school a secret. When i got PCOS last year, it made me think about how much i want to help other women not hate their bodies like i did at the time. I wanna get into gynecology, to be specific...

But finally getting in has made me come to this very weird epiphany that no matter how much i try, how much i succeed, how much i fail, i will never be as free as i am now ever again for the next 5 autumns of my life, maybe even more. I wonder how i can cope with that. Medical school's going to leave me too busy to even want to do anything anymore. At least, that's how i think it'll be. That and the social environment in Egypt is really different. Everyone's a micro-celeb of sorts, and they'll eat you alive if you're not. According to my mom, at least. Oh well. Too bad i like having a private instagram.

Generally, what's supposed to happen as soon as med school starts is a total change of the self. Everything i like can not be enjoyed unless i earn the right to enjoy it. 

I have to molt, figuratively speaking. Total change. Nothing can stay the same.

I guess only time will tell if i'll be able to handle med school...

I want to go to Japan sometime within the next two years; maybe once i get a hold of a job (so i dont rely on feloos mama w baba alone) and once i get around my med school schedule. Maybe before Kenji turns 50 or something. I don't know. But just becaue the wrappers got wrinkles doesnt mean it isnt sweet.........

I just really want to go; preferably alone, but i wouldnt mind taking someone with me. But it's gonna be tough there...all the cute 4D jellies have pork-derived whatever-the-hell in them, all the sushi uses sake to keep the rice together, and if im going to see a bunch of dudes prance around on-stage, the LEAST i can do is make sure no alcohol or pig meat enters my oh so beautiful mouth u,u of course, there ARE halal places in the country, no? 

Hmph...

but there is a bit of nuance on alcohol in food though, no?

I'm glad to still be here, at least. I got more CDs and DVDs lately, and i hope i can squeeze one last buyee haul before college starts...but that's impossible.

I got my hands on MUKASHI NO KINBAKU. I watched the first disc. Fun~~ four more discs to go...

I also found a flac file of this one song i was obsessed with a year or so ago, Marco by $WAGGOT. I'm not that deep into his stuff but that song is so catchy to me. Now i can keep it safe...forever.

Bye!

~Cat

Ichigo! Ichigo!

Ok~ a bit of a minipost since there hasn't been all too much going on. 
Recently, I went to Cairo. There was literally no wi-fi there, and something about that felt...nightmarish. No idea why. While not the reason, I had a hard time sleeping while we were there. 
We stayed in a pretty nice place, though. I liked it a lot. That's all I can say that's worth noting, I think? 

Hm, I've been staring at my screen trying to think of what to write. I guess that's everything.

Anyways! Last night, my wi-fi went out and it forced me to A) start a Naruken x Junko fanfic and B) listen to some of the mp3s I had on my laptop...

One of these mp3s i had downloaded was actually one from a band i've been meaning to listen to called HEAR. Their full name's...Kansai Hentai-kei Owarai Band HEAR. What a mouthful. Can bands go back to giving themselves long names? I miss that...

I listened to their Ichigo-kari No Yoru album. Good stuff. I liked the first half of the album too...

My mind's going blank, so i guess i'll leave you all with this minipost. Have a nice day!

A scan i found in one of their albums that i DLed. Cuuuute T~T

~Cat

Doing more stuff, hopefully

Hi! Hope everyone's well. 

As of writing this, I'm in Egypt! \(^^)/ Woohoo!

Ideally, I'd be asleep. I'm going to Cairo first thing in the morning...but instead, I'm blogging. My phone's charging using my powerbank right next to me because I hate leaving it to charge anywhere else. I'm spying on my powerbank's battery life like YOU BETTER LET ME CHARGE MY PHONE FULLY!!

There's a lot to do, but it's probably too early to do it all. It's been a fun few days so far though! Mostly, I've just been...uhm...a slob. But a fun, cute slob nevertheless. 

I stole took my mom's old grey jacket, and it is ADORABLE. It's the only jacket ive been wearing when i go out. That and a T-shirt and wide leg jeans. Do i like the jeans? Not really, no. But if it's a change that needs to happen, I guess I'll wear the jeans!

Ok, now it's time to talk about everything that's happened these past few days leading up to now! There won't be too much pics, so just use your imagination, ok? I did take tons of pics, but they're all of my classmates, and just putting them up here without asking would be pretty audacious of me, no? 

So, on the 24th, a day before we left, I hung out with my friends for one last dinner together. I feel like there's a strange banishment between me and hangouts with my classmates, as in i never know they happen until a classmate posts about it, so i could NOT let this opportunity pass me by any means. I had to join!! 

I was there fairly early compared to everyone else. My friend told me to meet her at this coffee shop when in actuality, she was in another one that was across the shop in question! =.= It was a pretty annoying two-minute walk. 

Her and my other classmate were there. She got a matcha, and it tasted...interesting. Kinda like if a coconut was a plant and not a fruit, if that makes sense, with a weird grass aftertaste. I'd drink it if it meant i'd get some money for drinking it. I told myself not to get anything, but I got a caramel macchiato. Yum. My usual is that with a cinnamon donut, but I decided against getting one since...I was gonna have lunch, you know? (lol)

So, more girls arrive, and we're seated at this Asian restaurant. All of us order a bunch of different things, but I got sweet and sour chicken with plain noodles, and dumplings as an appetizer. I love that place's dumplings T~T so good...I'd eat like 10 in one sitting...

I didn't end up finishing the noodles since they were pretty filling, but I did devour the chicken. Yum...

Now that that's over, we make our way to the pharmacy to buy makeup.

I kept them waiting because I found a cute eye pencil i wanted. I've been meaning to buy myself a pencil eyeliner, so why not buy a cheap one? It was worth it, but ive yet to use it in a look of mine...it should be a nice alternative to liquid eyeliner...

Ok, that's over. MORE WALKING AROUND THE MALL!!!! We went to the bookstore for like 5 minutes, and we do literally nothing besides make fun of the books. I went looking for cute stickers to no avail. That was about it.

Then we make our way back to the cafes to get ourselves a treat! I had already gotten a caramel macchiato, so i got myself a cinnamon roll cake slice. God, it was delicious. So sweet, but the cinnamon taste helps balance it out. I couldn't eat it all, so i just had the rest the next day. The pics below are the only ones not of me or my friends.

Hey, nice segway into the next major event, Cat. 

Thanks, Cat! 

Ok, the big day rolls around, and I regret not having napped earlier. I leave behind my last box of mac n cheese, and then, after way too much preparation, we make it to...the airport! (kirakira)

I took this on a whim. Why is Naruken in my wallet? For good fortune?

As soon as we got to the airport, my mom was like, Oh! We forgot gum! So i went and bought us some. Strawberry flavored. Because mint is gross and strawberry is cute. That's a fact that can not be dispelled. 

Sooner or later, we end up in the only good part of the airport. The lounge. It's clean. It's pristine. There's a chocolate counter. There was a guy snoring on a couch. Is this not the finest lounge experience you can get?

The buffet had subpar ravioli, a nice pumpkin soup, and mini cans of Pepsi. Once we were done dining, I went to the chocolate counter.

There, they had a bunch of...well, chocolate! I got this caramel stuffed one (which i shouldve gotten 10 more of), a hazelnut chocolate bark piece (which i also shouldve gotten 10 more of), and this other one with a crunchy chocolate interior. Ahh, how nice it is to eat a bunch of sweet shit...

After that came an hour of waiting. 

Just us lounging until we hear...the final call!!!!

We gotta go!!! I snag some cheese pieces to snack on and some soda to drink, and then it's running to our gate!!!

After a bunch of adrenaline being wasted, we're on our plane, safe and sound. I get the window seat (as usual~) and i spend the whole flight listening to my mp3s.

Here are some misc pics i took once we arrived. I got some can badges with me for...whenever i needed to spice up my outfits. They should still be in my carry-on unless i fucked up and did something stupid (lol)

That was just about everything fun that's happened (lol)

As of now, I'm waiting on my wish me mell cheki holder to be marked as...at the warehouse so i can ship it. It's mundane, but i cant wait to hip my buyee haul out. I haven't bought misc. stuff in so long, and one of the things i got was a novelty mirror from my favorite gyaru brand, TRALALA. I'm so happy~ 

Today, i was pretty lazy. Could barely get off of bed. I feel bad about it. I had a weird dream that i can barely remember; i do remember it reminding me of a weird part of my childhood where me and my parents would go to resorts and the shopping centers near them, and just how futuristic they seemed to me...

I had a sandwich for lunch, by the way. Delish...

Ah! Here's something I'm thinking about. 

Yesterday, I joined a VC in a server i'm in. 

It was fun, but i really can't get over how much i stumbled on my words. In the end, i just sounded like a total idiot. I'm not usually that dumb, but i may have cemented my status as...kinda dumb nonetheless. Why did i keep acting the way i did? I'm not usually that forgetful or stupid...I can articulate my points and put those points together to form a sentence most of the time.

I was pretty dizzy though. 

That and also, i need to play more games. 

I do not play enough games.

My friend told me about this VN called Narcissu 1&2. the synopsis alone makes me think "wow, that's probs gonna make me cry my eyes out. why not?" (lol) Plus, the english website seems cool.

Now, I'm gonna go to bed. My powerbank's almost dead. Shit.

Good night!

~Cat

Yarebadekiru Ko + talking

Back in early April, right after eid, I bought a bunch of Golden Bomber DVDs. I had to ship them out in like 2 separate packages...very expensive ;_;

Since this was during peak exam season, I couldn't really watch any of them to my hearts desire. 

But now, at midnight, I'm watching Yarebadekiru Ko instead of sleeping.

It's good so far, and I'm only on Boku Quest (lol) 

I know I'll get distracted watching to take more cute phone pics (well obvi! I didn't buy the limited edition of this DVD for nothing!) but here are some iPhone 6 pics:

 

I'm really sorry for the lack of updates.

Exams have calmed down by a lot (I only have 2 left!) and they don't matter as much anymore for a reason I can't share <3 I guess that means I can finally watch my DVDs past the intro and stageplays now? (lol)

Yarebadekiru Ko is probably a new favorite of mine...the tour plot is funny, the venue's a good size (I LOVE LOVE LOVE zepp venues. I hope to see a band live in one someday) and the audience shots are really nice. The stageplay is also really funny and a nice satire take on male idol culture <3 I liked Darukeiko. Kenji's OL voice is like ear candy to me...

One thing April gave me was a huge DVD haul that I mentioned earlier. It was probably my biggest DVD haul yet, considering I could only buy CDs and DVDs anyways. I just wish i could've convinced my mom to let me get an acrylic stand of Kenji (lol)

Things are changing really, really fast. I wish i could be stuck like this forever, watching Golden Bomber DVDs on my bed, but it feels like I've been stagnant for forever now. I have to move forward and I have to be there to see my life change. It feels weird; almost like I'm gonna molt and shed my skin, forming a new version of myself. I don't know what to do...maybe I'll watch another DVD (lol)

Another thing I've been thinking about is how mature or immature I may seem to others. It feels like, with all my longterm mutuals that I rarely speak to, they really only know this bastardized version of me from the past. I can't help but wonder if their perception of me has ever changed, or will ever change. It probably also applies to longterm friends, maybe? But I change a lot...so who knows if i really seem better or worse to everyone who I've known for a long while.

Bye!

~Cat

04.10.09 ~ Lazy lovepost dedicated to Kenji

(Note: I never really finished this on time but i dont care. Im making the post date for this the 10th anyways because that was when I started typing it. I also just get a bit sappy here so if you feel like that isnt for you or youre going to take it as a chance to be a bitch then just close the blog tab and breathe some fresh air. Thank you!)

The date that I made the title of this post is very very special. It's not related to me, personally, but it does relate to someone I really like; Kenji Darvish from Golden Bomber. 

April 10th, 2009 marked the first oneman live after their former drummer, Dankichi Tenkujou, left the band. It was that same concert that Kenji debuted as their new drummer. 

In 2020, I listened to a Golden Bomber song for the first time (well, kind of...) since I was into pop'n music and i eventually got into GB because my favorite character had Memeshikute as one of his songs. It was then that I kind of went down a rabbit hole of listening to a bunch of GB, when I stopped on one song; a very recent one at the time, Tatsuo, Yome wo Ore ni Kure. Besides the fact that the album it's from kind of sucks, that song singlehandedly made me think, wow, I really, really, really love Kenji. 

And love I did! Albeit GB was more of a casual interest of mine...but I remember binging a lot of Kenji-specific content.

Back to now...I feel like ever since 2023, there hasn't been a single day in my life that I have gone without spotting Kenji's face somewhere in my life. I have a phone charm of him attached to my phone at all times. I have a picture of him as my laptop wallpaper. I have a picture of him as my phone wallpaper. I have a memorial photo album from 2011 that i confide in whenever I just want a cute picture to look at. Every bag that I take out with me has a can badge holder with can badges of him inside. If you know me on a surface level, one of the things you know is how Kenji's my honmei, and if you've known me for a bit, you'd know I own merch of him. It pales in comparison to other collections I've seen, but I love everything dearly...maybe that, in a way, makes it a bigger collection (???)...

It's stupid; the fact that i'm dedicating a blog post to a 44 year old that has no idea I exist is very, very stupid. But I feel like I owe him something; a tiny tribute of my love, a sign of gratitude for all the times I've felt like the scum of the earth and all i needed to save me was a photo, a funny video, a DVD, quite literally anything related to Kenji. As stupid as it is, I can't help but feel the need to thank him, at least in a fan-to-idol type of way (lol). 

So much time has passed since 2009, and Kenji has changed so much; from his makeup style to his outfits to just the way he speaks to the audience in MCs, he's the type of person that's constantly changing, and it's almost always for the better. That kind of change takes discipline, and a kind of self-respect that i really do not see myself attaining (lol)...I feel like it makes him very admirable to me. I say this in more of a respect way, if that makes sense. Of course, it's not the most mentally stable behavior to put someone on that high of a pedestal, but i'm just saying this out of a place of respect. I hope it comes off like that naturally without me clarifying it (lol)

Thank you, Kenji, from the bottom of my heart. You've made Golden Bomber one of the most meaningful bands I've ever listened to, and it's just because you sit behind a drum set pretending to play with an iPod taped on the drum next to you. 

Thank you for always smiling and singing along.

I think that's essentially everything that's on my mind. I hate being this vulnerable but i feel like i've been meaning to make a post like this for way too long that i just can't help but dump all my thoughts (lol)

Mwah! Hugs and kisses! 

Thanks for reading!

Cat