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I feel like, realistically, if i were to update this blog, every single day, sharing nothing but my unfiltered thoughts that pop up in my mind as soon as i open the text editor, all i'd do, every single time, is just complain non-stop. That's something that usually stops me from updating this thing more often and i dont know how to feel about that ;_; I have a lot of thoughts, but its not that they're worthy of sharing all the time; and it feels like a kind of obstacle because this blog is both open to everyone and kinda closed off at the same time. I don't want every single post, back to back, to just be me complaining non-stop, and that's usually why posts get scarce at times. Sorry!

Recently ive been noticing myself kind of...NOT wanting to listen to golden bomber? The thought of it makes me a bit sad but also not sad? Its a bit complicated. It feels like listening to their music doesn't really do anything for me anymore lol...is it depressive? Is it just bitchy me? It's a mystery...I wanna buy tons of their merch regardless though

Recently, something a bit interesting happened :T my mom wanted me to buy this burgundy bag, i told her i didnt like it, she was like well too bad! So i have no choice but to take this slightly ugly burgundy bag. I think i actually kinda like it though. I can't really argue, but recently it feels like everyone's testing my patience =_= and by everyone i mostly just mean my parents but they still love me regardless so complaining isn't really the way to go

Because of that ive mostly just been thinking, why do i always have to change myself for the convenience of others? Will anyone ever accept me for who i truly am as a person? Do i have to listen to my mom? Should i just die? Lots of deep questions...but it's ok. I think ill get over it ;_;

I've had this draft for a while so i'll just add a final update. Today my brain fog was worse and i tweeted something about how Gackt probably has to push his dog's eyes in sometimes (BECAUSE THEY LOOK INCREDIBLY OVERBRED) and i thought it was funny but the gackt fan account with 2k followers that has their mutuals on my ass doesn't...so now random vkei twitter people hate me...i think it's divine retribution. 

I wanna die...(looks up at the sky in questioning and regret) Now i know to never speak ill of GACKT

Bye!

~Cat