Every time, without fail, i open a blogger window,
type a few lines,
save it as a draft,
and never come back to it again.
This summer has been tedious. For one, my Egypt trip involved a LOT of going to Cairo, surviving off of me and my mom's mobile data (lol), and finishing up college docs.
College as a whole seems to be finalized ^.^ I'm officially a student, and i'm starting medical school. I know right? A total dweeb like me going into medical school (lol) truth is, i actually wanted to get into something web design related, but it requires taking AS math, and i am...not good at math. So that idea was scrapped in favor of Anything Else. It seems like more of the easier options (at least when it comes to Egypt) require math to some degree...actually, just about everything requires AS math. It's incredibly tough because it narrows your options really badly if you arent good at math. First world problems right?
Ive been trying to the best of my abilities to keep me getting into med school a secret. When i got PCOS last year, it made me think about how much i want to help other women not hate their bodies like i did at the time. I wanna get into gynecology, to be specific...
But finally getting in has made me come to this very weird epiphany that no matter how much i try, how much i succeed, how much i fail, i will never be as free as i am now ever again for the next 5 autumns of my life, maybe even more. I wonder how i can cope with that. Medical school's going to leave me too busy to even want to do anything anymore. At least, that's how i think it'll be. That and the social environment in Egypt is really different. Everyone's a micro-celeb of sorts, and they'll eat you alive if you're not. According to my mom, at least. Oh well. Too bad i like having a private instagram.
Generally, what's supposed to happen as soon as med school starts is a total change of the self. Everything i like can not be enjoyed unless i earn the right to enjoy it.
I have to molt, figuratively speaking. Total change. Nothing can stay the same.
I guess only time will tell if i'll be able to handle med school...
I want to go to Japan sometime within the next two years; maybe once i get a hold of a job (so i dont rely on feloos mama w baba alone) and once i get around my med school schedule. Maybe before Kenji turns 50 or something. I don't know. But just becaue the wrappers got wrinkles doesnt mean it isnt sweet.........
I just really want to go; preferably alone, but i wouldnt mind taking someone with me. But it's gonna be tough there...all the cute 4D jellies have pork-derived whatever-the-hell in them, all the sushi uses sake to keep the rice together, and if im going to see a bunch of dudes prance around on-stage, the LEAST i can do is make sure no alcohol or pig meat enters my oh so beautiful mouth u,u of course, there ARE halal places in the country, no?
Hmph...
but there is a bit of nuance on alcohol in food though, no?
I'm glad to still be here, at least. I got more CDs and DVDs lately, and i hope i can squeeze one last buyee haul before college starts...but that's impossible.
I got my hands on MUKASHI NO KINBAKU. I watched the first disc. Fun~~ four more discs to go...
I also found a flac file of this one song i was obsessed with a year or so ago, Marco by $WAGGOT. I'm not that deep into his stuff but that song is so catchy to me. Now i can keep it safe...forever.
Bye!
~Cat
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