Hi! Another blog update wow okayyy.....
This week kicked my ass is all ill say ;_; lots of work i failed to catch up with. And more ill probably never catch up with. Ever. However this post isn't about....THAT i wanna talk on a slightly bigger scale! I wanna talk about the year to come even thought its still a bit early >.> let me live ok! i still plan on making a thank you post once the new year itself hits...if i can even remember by then lol
So 2023 was a YEAR it was a year it consisted of 12 months 52 weeks that's for certain it was interesting. at least i wasn't visibly weird towards others like i was in say 2021 but it was bad in the sense that i wasn't serious when i was supposed to be. it sucks and so now i have to re-live igcse math all over again.......sigh!
Overall, i was definitely a better person, and i appreciate that improvement, but what made a good chunk of this year were my exams. Important exams more or less...did i enjoy how my exams went down this year? NO! Safe to say, i'll have to repeat nearly everything i took...i understand that every bad thing happens for a reason, but i feel like there was no reason in the end. None at all! No benefit besides that i just have to do what i did all over again. It feels redundant to say the least. This year made me wish time travel was a thing so i could fix all the dumb mistakes i made...There has to be some kind of reason as to why everything went down the way it did but whatever...i just wish i could've been smarter really :p ...I hope i can at least be smarter in the year that comes. IM DESPERATE AND ITS NOT FUNNY
However this year did hold a few good things...getting back into visual kei got me some friends which i hope i can keep being friends with in the next year :-) it feels great still having gained something good from the year despite it all. i guess the lessons just exist to try and ground me back into reality and all the good things exist as a reward for dealing with them. i also bought a bunch of things this year (13!!!!!!!!!!!!! CDs and a pop'n book) and my art noticeably improved compared to last year. i am genuinely grateful regardless of my regrets but i cant say that one thing outweighs the other here. this year was a decent 1:1 ratio of Good and UTTER HELL and i guess i should appreciate that as to not jinx anything in the future
but what about my resolutions. i've got things i wanna do after all!
- get myself together and get into j-fashion in a way that really matters and finally learn makeup for real
- get good exam results so i can buy a bunch of kenji darvish merch simply. and also so that i wont have to go through the hell of retaking them ALL OVER AGAIN
- have a genuine friend group? maybe? i have friends regardless but i get jealous of friend groups that never fall apart
- probably NOT sound weird speaking arabic. its my native language after all. how could i possibly fuck it up...(answer: by learning english before arabic and not caring about it in school anyways LOLOLOL)
- buy a digital camera from the late 2000s so that i can take weird pictures of my surroundings. and if not i just wanna find out how to replicate the effect of an old camera using my phone lol
- and a flip phone. i genuinely want a flip phone. preferably one of the docomo ones all the cool gyarus use
- oh and also i wanna do more parapara
~Cat
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