It's still the 31st!

 

As of writing this, it is...
7:43 p.m, December 31st.
Last blog post of 2025, huh?

Man, compared to last year, and the year before that, i feel like i have literally nothing to say. But so much has happened, and I spent a good chunk of the year in Egypt, which i havent done before. 
I don't know how to even describe how I've changed this year. I don't know how to describe how I've engaged with my hobbies. All i know is I spent a shit ton on Golden Bomber merch.

...worth it. 0u0

I guess i'll start with what i found most pathetic about 2025, so i can end the post off on a positive note. Bear with me!!
First off, i got too discouraged to draw a ton of times. And it was for a dumb reason...i kept focusing too much on how others did it. How come i didnt seem to get anywhere at all? I was grateful a lot of my mutuals loved it, but no one outside of my circle of (very lovely) mutuals and (very lovely) friends seemed to care.
Looking back at it...
Maybe i was too harsh on myself. But also, my art was not the best; it was cute, but was it deserving of other peoples' attention? That's the kind of question i ruminate over every once in a while. For one, it is very amateurish, no matter how much i drew, it still ended up amateurish, and i feel like it had nothing going for it.
I really cant help but wish i couldve had a better motivation. Not focusing on how other people seemed to get better engagement didnt seem to help because the thought i was trying to get rid of was still being considered in that same phrase, not ignored. It was pathetic of me...but i hope i can at least try to draw for myself. I just wish i knew how to approach that hobby without being discouraged so easily, because drawing is actually kinda fun when i know what im doing (lol) but i do find myself struggling more often than not. I can't promise i'll draw again, but i'd like to at least try. I'm a bit conflicted as to whether i should get back to sharing it publically, or keep sharing it privately between me and my friends.

But one question remains; have I changed? Like, as a person? No matter what, i'm still selfish at my very core. I get what i want too easily, even though I think i should, i feel like i could be a bit more humble...but ive had friends say im quite the opposite; im altruistic and kind. I feel like, for my sake, i should accept this. I can be kind. I am kind. I am selfless. I am compassionate.
As much as i believe it, i also want to work towards these things like im not altruistic. I feel like itll make me better in a passive way...

I also have no idea if my PCOS has gotten any better despite me walking so much in a day.

That and also, i failed a-level bio. 
Not much to say about that =u=

This year had some positives though.

For one, i bought a shit ton of golden bomber merch, as stated. My DVD collection is as big as ever, with DVDs i never thought id buy!! Mukashi no Kinbaku and the limited ver of Yarebadekiru Ko have to be some of my best gets for DVDs this year. Such fun watches; Yarebadekiru Ko has a wonderful setlist and stageplay, and MNK is an absolute goldmine if you like nostalgic GB content. After all, all the stageplays are re-creations of their older stageplays. The whole premise of this tour is "nostalgia sells", just executed really really cool-ly! It's a very wonderful watch, and i think it should be easy to find it physically. I found mine for 1000 yen, which, for a DVD with 5 discs, is a steal!!!
I think DVDs are very very fun to collect, you should collect them too~! 0u0 
I also got...a Tralala mirror that i love, a Kenji akusta that i LOVE, and Golden Bomber towels that i promise i'll hang up in my room someday, bro. Trust me. 0u0

I started university. University gave me shitty modules (talking about anatomy. FUCK YOU), but it gave me...an actual friend group :,> 
At first, i only knew like three people, give or take, but now i'm in an actual group?!? And im included?!? What?!?!?!?
I'm endlessly grateful for them. They all make me laugh so much ;u; theyve been nothing but kind to me, and i hope i can get closer and closer to them next year...<3 I really dont appreciate them enough, and i should send them all messages wishing them a happy new year once i finish this post (lol)
Being alone for weeks at a time...it's made me feel pretty confident in myself, pretty independent and happy. I've also gotten to see some of my family, and gotten to see other parts of Cairo that i think are really really cool!!

I got to write a fic for someone for the first time!! It was a Daruupa fic i wrote for my friend Ari. Here it is to refresh your mind and also for shameless self-promo. I've written fics with other people in mind, but the main person who'd read my fics ended up being an abusive POS and as such it made me stray away from the hobby for a while. I only ever wrote basic <1k word fluff, but it was fun. It feels nice to be free from all that association. I hope I can write more. I wanna try and make doujinshi of my own, whether it be in novel or art form...

I got to practice gal makeup. I am still very lazy with it, but i got the basics down...all i need now are bottom lashes! ^u^ and maybe better skin that can tolerate foundation more...

I also want to thank all my blogger friends, by name this time!!

Thank you S for always being funny and encouraging me to blog about all the fun things in life through your own posts. Your decoblend edits are cute, and conversations with you never fail to make me giggle. To think we got so close because of a dumb meme i sent you...i could cry ;u;

Thank you Heni for always being supportive of my art, my writing, and my presence in clam. And thanks to everyone in clam, actually! All of you are great, and getting to reconnect with you all through this server has been one of the highlights of my year...<3

Thank you Ari for being as pervy towards Jun and Kenji as I am (lol)...jokes aside, youre as kind as you are cool, and it takes a lot to somehow be both!! Youve given me a reason to get back into writing, and i cant be grateful enough to be considered your friend. Keep striving!!

Thank you Rue for always being a source of unbridled joy in my life. No matter what you go through, you stay compassionate, and that in and of itself makes you better than you think. Youre my sister from another mister...(as in we're both arab and cute kimoi otaku girls who are waaaaaaaay too perverted towards their fave dudes)

And, thank YOU! THE PERSON READING THIS! Whether we've talked all year, or not at all, i'm still thankful for you, whoever you may be. ^u^

So, as much as i hate resolutions, here are some goals i'd like to achieve in 2026. I dont want to be too harsh on myself if i dont achieve them; but i'd like to work towards them:

~Getting by academically; getting good grades to the best of my ability.
~Improving my makeup skills.
~Make at least one full-blown doujinshi, preferably a Gakukiri or Daruupa one. Novel or fanfic, manga, doesnt matter...
~Going to Japan and seeing GB live. Id probably have to start saving from next year onwards, though...assuming i'd go in the summer. And that id do good academically to justify something so pricey!!
~Being kinder and more altruistic like people say i am; those words mean a lot to me, and as much as i accept them, i also want to live up to them as much as possible.
~Yes, buy more Kenji merch, but maybe rarer things...
~READ BOOKS!!!!! I WANNA READ IN THE MISO SOUP AND DARKLY DREAMING DEXTER!!!! AND ALSO HOUSE OF LEAVES, FOR SOME REASON!!!!

Bye, and have a happy 2026 full of indulgent cute things~~

(P.S, this is post number 69 for me. Nice.)

~Cat