1.1.24 HAPPY NEW YEAR! TWENTY TWENTY FOUR!

 HELLO!

This is it...the big post.......THE BIG POST!!!!!!!!!

there's still half an hour left until midnight as i write this :p

anyways. song of the day.

its not just one song...to celebrate i give you all...

MY SPOTIFY PLAYLIST!!!! (^v^) OVER TWO DAYS WORTH OF MY FAVORITE TRACKS!!!!!!!! J-POP...VISUAL KEI...SHIBUYA KEI...SOME EGYPTIAN POP...SOME 2ND GEN K-POP...EVEN A BIT OF JAPAMETA TOO

CLICK HERE!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!

anyways (clears throat)

its 2024. a new year.

a new year is nothing more than just a chance. a chance to make up whatever was missed in the previous year

a chance to make things right.....

and it feels weird -~- it feels weird that todays the last day i can see 23 as the last two numbers in the year. 

but should i ruminate over the weird? no!

as i said, this is a chance to make things work. for real! a chance for me and for you! so take it! grab at it! dont let go! 

congrats on making it to 2024, no matter how much effort it took. whether this was the worst year ever or one of the best, just know some random kenji darvish fangirl is happy for you. may the next year treat you well. thank you for being here alongside me, whether we've known each other for years, or we just became mutuals. thank you so much. thank you so so much

take every bad thing as a lesson with meaning. somehow. just try and find meaning or reason somehow

i should listen to a song or something to celebrate. hm. ill just play trauma kyabajou so that it lines up with when the clock strikes midnight!!! (update i didnt get to do that but i played memeshikute as soon as it striked so T_T good enough)

and also i managed to fulfill my one wish and it was for my last drawing of the year to be kenji 

narcisse kenji....i love you.......come here and get a kiss ( u3u) 

can you tell i love kinbaku all stars 2012

anyways. tomorrow i go to an amusement park near the seaside.

on the first day of 2022 i was at a pizza hut near the seaside

i saw the hottest guy ever

i think of him sometimes

i hope when im at the park i spot a hot guy

to like

continue the loop

sincerely from me and kenji darvish paper doll

love you all!!!!!!! have a great 2024!!!

~Cat

12.31.23 its technically new year's eve now. small post before the big post

this was a draft from last night which im touching up now in the middle of the day :>

ive been thinking for like two minutes of a song for this post soo....sotd is just any golden bomber song u want it to be <3 

anyways. some drawings from this month that i like. yeah! no particular order!

yes thats supposed to be me in the drawing. i dont own a kenji poster sadly
text is in arabic "happy new years sweetheart........i love you.......so much <3"this could be tled a few ways but kol sana w enta tayeb usually just means happy new years but it literally means may you be happy every year or something along those lines, filename for this was me and my kenji poster which  idont own because i dont own golden bomber merch.png

junko! jun's alter ego from the kinbaku all stars 2012 tour my faaaaavorite gb tour

me again. le sigh. ive been getting more used to drawing myself :p

the original drawing behind KDPD! gasp!

a drawing for kenji darvish's birthday! i messed up his hair a bit but its ok

my daruupa pheromones are wafting their way out of your screen. do you smell them?

last but not least, the original canvas for both the drawing of junko and of me. i also planned on drawing christine yutako (yutakas alter ego from the same tour) but i scrapped it. filename is years end.png

i still have another post tonight (6.6) stay tuned!!!!!

12.30.23 new year's eve...eve. kenji darvish paper doll introduction post!

 hello!!!!!! hope everyones well!

how'd the second-to-last day of the year go for everyone? good? 

not much to say honestly...i kept putting off making a post because i was lazy =.= but maybe a boring post is better than no post

anyways, song of the day! is this feeling love by tommy february6, suggested by my friend yutaka tommy february6 fan number 1 BECHA ^.^ hi becha 

ANYWAYS anyways. not much today honestly. i stayed at home

i also had a good breakfast :> fried eggs and hashbrowns. yum

i assume i should use this post to compile all my KDPD pics

KDPD (kenji darvish paper doll) is a paper doll i made of kenji darvish from golden bomber on december 13 2023. i like taking pictures with him. you will see pictures of him now. enjoy them.

12-13 he is learning...about...HIMSELF?

12-13 his beautiful face...first pic i posted of him

12-13 here's a better shot of him!

12-19 lyrics from 10 james orr street by strawberry switchblade. sad song :( i felt that way leaving from my old apartment only to realize i liked my new one too. it happens to all of us...

12-19 i took this directly after the lyric pics LOL...when i posted this on twitter a golden bomber fan i DONT KNOW called the pics cute. i think about that sometimes. it makes me smile.

and now for more misc pics! no captions im lazy just enjoy them

i hope these pics make you happy. 

have a great last day of the year tomorrow everyone :> 

~Cat

12.29.23 accessories! charms! gifts!

 helloooooooo!

how is everyone? :> ive got a quiz today...i didnt study as much but also im a bit confident since the only difficult topic ive got in my quiz is enzymes...and im used to them at this point >_>

also. song of the day!

why dont you come with me by tommy february6. another halloween song...its really catchy

anyways! today marks 4 or so days left until i go to egypt! and i wanted to get my cousin some stuff! i went to my go-to accessories store to do that! it's where i get most of my phone charms...

and...here are some pics of what i liked in said store ( o3o) 

that's it...that's the post...no catch here lol

coinbanks!

they looked cute. i liked the ones with the flowers. didnt buy any though lol

smiley world bag!

this bag was super cute...i kinda regret not getting it ;_; gahhh

J...U...JUN UTAHIROBA!

i forgot how most of his hey yo verse is if i remembered i probably would reference it here. something something something uwasa ga sureba UTAHIROBAAAAA something something solo mo nai something something jump jump jump jump ooookaaaayyy. okay. that was bad. i need to listen to it again

utahiroba...darvish...

how cute they really do follow me anywhere and everywhere...

they deserve the world...

found these and audibly gasped...i was initially there to get gifts for my cousin as i said so i figured these would be perfect!!!!!!! i took the one on the right attached to the pink star :>

and here she is amongst my other phone charms! i think i have 9 now lol. is it impractical? sort of. but its adorable. i have a charm thats just the letter K. k for...kenji...kenji darvish

last but not least, a bag of a cat! this was my gift for my cousin. although everything else that i got for her is inside it ( >_O) its a surpriseeeeeeeeeeeee......the keychains a gift too. she got me some cool stuff a while ago so i cant wait to give her the bag ( >v<)

thanks for reading! byeeeee!!!!!!!! see u tomorrow!!! (if i can remember to make another post tomorrow lol) i know this posts a bit lazy but its probably because its still fairly early in the day for me lol

~Cat

12.29.23 music players...

 helloooooooooooo!

how's everyone doing...good? good!

today we've got MORE than one song. three songs for today actually!

number one is little red forest by tommy february6. cute song. i actually really like halloween addiction and tommy's halloween fairy tale...such interesting releases...

number two is estrous by l'yse:nore. girls gotta have her old kote kei sung by a guy who hasn't been in the visual kei scene since like 2005

number 3 is doom -yuzai no azazel- by s.q.f. TO HAVE THIS PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNN TSUMITAZODE BASUROMANSU..........AMAGASE........TE NO SUTE WO............AAAAAAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAZEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLL 

thanks for attending my free concert my demo cd is at the venues front door. i hope u listen to these songs. please listen to them

today was fairly boring as per the usual. although i did end up doing something good with my time. i loaded all of my soulseek downloads on windows media player! yay! another music player for me to use! ...with my stuff that i cant be assed to tag properly for lastfm >_> lol

much like clementine, it still maintains that sort of 2000s ui...big buttons, gradients, pixelated assets...u get the gist!

windows media player on the left, clementine on the right. u can tell which one i've tainted but i'm not that picky...as long as it looks like its from the 2000s i am immediately going to use it. no questions asked. i figured to make the experiment more accurate i'd play the same song from the same album (lol) i like collecting music players...on my mac it was itunes i'd use in place of clementine but i got bored so i'd often just use clementine or VLC. i need more music players with crusty 2000s user interfaces...hm

i could stare at this screen forever...just mindlessly scrolling...foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

hope u all enjoy my VAST COLLECTION OF GOLDEN BOMBER (EVEN THE GOLDEN BEST FOR KOREA WHICH I FORGOT I DOWNLOADED TWICE)

fact: my collection of soulseek downloads is over 10 gigabytes :>

If avex wont put lipstick/lum no love song on spotify i will simply have to improvise. This is my improvisation...

one interesting thing i noticed is that WMP added covers to things automatically too............

which worked out good sometimes!

i mean look. hotel love has a cover now. sourced straight from the web. aww!

it did mess up the cover for tarot by l'yse:nore but i deleted that before i could fetch a good screenshot lol

regardless, i think i'll just use both =3=) i hope i can find a way to customize windows media player. and a way to make tagging metadata on clementine less miserable. both can serve good purposes! maybe i can tag my stuff through wmp and enjoy it all through clementine. they're like bffs

he likes clementine...

and he likes windows media player...!

actually maybe all this doesnt matter anymore. kdpd (Kenji Darvish Paper Doll...i'll introduce him some other time) seems to enjoy both equally!!!

speaking of mp3s...i'm going to travel soon, so i hope i can remember to import most of my golden bomber + tommy february6 mp3s on my phone before i go ;_; i need to clear up like...tons of storage though...my phone's on the edge...i need to clear it all so i can import golden album...and...and golden best brassiere and tommys halloween fairy tale and (dies)

i ALSO hope i can make a good actual new year's post on the 1st...

thank you and goodbye!!!!!!! its 1 am!!! im gonna look at a bunch of kenji darvish pics and then im gonna go to bed!!! (...probably)

~Cat

12.26.23 "i need a hostess gf so bad *cries*" ~kirisho in mid-2016 probably

helloooooooooooooo to my 2 blogspot viewers. hi

ok today was a bit boring. i mainly studied and when i wanted to make soft boiled eggs i had one egg left so i just gave up on that! i have an AS bio quiz near the end of the week....ahhhh

anyways. song of the day is

drumroll plz

dadadadadadaddaddadadadaddaadadaddaaaaaaaadunnnnnnnn 

dududududunnnnnnnnn

ok drumroll STOP

tada!

the BEST killer tunes single. ever. mizushobai wo yamete kurenai ka. 

Look you can try and convince me cd ga urenai yo is the better single but ITS NOT, okay. i know. sad. but yanyayanya night is like just as good as this (its a guilty pleasure song of mine). sometimes the best gb songs are the ones where you can tell kirisho is desperate for pussy materialistic love. and that is okay. thats what makes the song special. its like...the spice needed for a golden bomber album! its okay to admit that sometimes the shallow pointless gb songs are better. happens to all of us <3

I believe every gb album has a formula to it. like a pie chart actually....40 percent past singles 20 percent sad sad songs 10 percent kirisho being like LOLOLOL VISUAL KEI IS SOOOOOOOOO WEIRD XD 10 percent if we're lucky a b-side from a single 10 percent if the tides in the sea allow it A SONG SUNG BY A DIFFERENT MEMBER 10 percent a song about japanese pop culture

anyways...this song is a bit special to me. i remember listening to it when it first came out and it was my first exposure to visual kei as a whole! i was on youtube, bored, listening to whatever j-pop i could come across (instead of doing my homework...) when i saw it. i listened and immediately was grossed out LOL i was all like uhmmm ok. im gonna listen to vocaloid now MEN ARE SO GROSS...this is weird...and then i lost interest really quick (lol) until late 2020 when i listened to memeshikute and the rest is history. i would do anything to relive that moment again. i mean hey even in 2016 i liked kenji darvish! i thought he looked cool! i remember THAT! and look at me now. Im a crazy deranged kenji darvish honmei who needs to study but is writing a blog post instead! history really is a loop! 

Before i end this i wanna say that i downloaded the album because listening to it on spotify fucks up the tags and it all gets scrobbled on lastfm as GOLDEN BOMBER in english and its so UGH.  but either way for whatever reason the flac files i downloaded just dont work at times so...lol its like they want me to stream it instead...lol...maybe i should convert them to mp3s

Anyways thanks. listen to killer tunes shika ne yo and kirisho will come down from a cloud to bless you with like a dvd or clear skin or something. and also do it on spotify

~Cat

12.25.23 year's end...

 Hi! Another blog update wow okayyy.....

This week kicked my ass is all ill say ;_; lots of work i failed to catch up with. And more ill probably never catch up with. Ever. However this post isn't about....THAT i wanna talk on a slightly bigger scale! I wanna talk about the year to come even thought its still a bit early >.> let me live ok! i still plan on making a thank you post once the new year itself hits...if i can even remember by then lol

So 2023 was a YEAR it was a year it consisted of 12 months 52 weeks that's for certain it was interesting. at least i wasn't visibly weird towards others like i was in say 2021 but it was bad in the sense that i wasn't serious when i was supposed to be. it sucks and so now i have to re-live igcse math all over again.......sigh!

Overall, i was definitely a better person, and i appreciate that improvement, but what made a good chunk of this year were my exams. Important exams more or less...did i enjoy how my exams went down this year? NO! Safe to say, i'll have to repeat nearly everything i took...i understand that every bad thing happens for a reason, but i feel like there was no reason in the end. None at all! No benefit besides that i just have to do what i did all over again. It feels redundant to say the least. This year made me wish time travel was a thing so i could fix all the dumb mistakes i made...There has to be some kind of reason as to why everything went down the way it did but whatever...i just wish i could've been smarter really :p ...I hope i can at least be smarter in the year that comes. IM DESPERATE AND ITS NOT FUNNY

However this year did hold a few good things...getting back into visual kei got me some friends which i hope i can keep being friends with in the next year :-) it feels great still having gained something good from the year despite it all. i guess the lessons just exist to try and ground me back into reality and all the good things exist as a reward for dealing with them. i also bought a bunch of things this year (13!!!!!!!!!!!!! CDs and a pop'n book) and my art noticeably improved compared to last year. i am genuinely grateful regardless of my regrets but i cant say that one thing outweighs the other here. this year was a decent 1:1 ratio of Good and UTTER HELL and i guess i should appreciate that as to not jinx anything in the future

but what about my resolutions. i've got things i wanna do after all!

• get myself together and get into j-fashion in a way that really matters and finally learn makeup for real
• get good exam results so i can buy a bunch of kenji darvish merch simply. and also so that i wont have to go through the hell of retaking them ALL OVER AGAIN
• have a genuine friend group? maybe? i have friends regardless but i get jealous of friend groups that never fall apart
  
• probably NOT sound weird speaking arabic. its my native language after all. how could i possibly fuck it up...(answer: by learning english before arabic and not caring about it in school anyways LOLOLOL)
• buy a digital camera from the late 2000s so that i can take weird pictures of my surroundings. and if not i just wanna find out how to replicate the effect of an old camera using my phone lol
• and a flip phone. i genuinely want a flip phone. preferably one of the docomo ones all the cool gyarus use
• oh and also i wanna do more parapara

i hope i can fulfill my resolutions for real and not contribute to the statistic of People who never care about their resolutions. If 2024 doesn't go well i think it'll be the end of me but i have things to look forward to regardless so i hope those things go well.........

To anyone who got this far, i hope you can make the best out of the last week of the year!!!!!! make it fun!!!!

~Cat

12.14.23 CAT'S HYPERTEXT JOURNEY

 Hi! I'm not going to make some long intro about how i barely post .... no one needs that

BUT. WHILE I HAVE BEEN GONE. I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON THINGS. BEHIND THE SCENES. SO MANY THINGS. AND ONE OF THOSE THINGS.....HAS BEEN.............

MY WEBSITE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here it is. Click! 

It is a WIP...and also there's Golden Bomber playing automatically so keep your volume down or mute the site if that bothers you. No harm in it!

Anyways, I just wanna talk about my process trying to bring it back.

WHY?

Let's go back to August 5th, 2021........I made a neocities account. And i made a Hideo Suwa fansite. Because i loved him at the time. I was weird and trying to get by >.> And also HTML could be a good way of showing my love for mister Suwa himself. I was going crazy. Genuinely. Will not elaborate further but i would like to apologize to anyone who knew me at that time because i was genuinely spiraling into something i dont know what but it was SOMETHING

I'll add a pic from that version of the site whenever i find it, but its unlikely ill find anything besides a few phone pics :p

I kept it updated (lie) consistently up until early this year. Sometime around March i believe? Around that time, i was just suffering from IGCSE prep ;_; really badly too. I had a bad mindset on studying for it and it didnt yield good results in the end. 

One good thing came from that time though. I was taking an ICT course which required i use Microsoft Sharepoint 2007. A visual editor for HTML. 

HTML. THE ONE THING IM GOOD AT IN THIS WORLD

After that course ended i barely used it...but now i use it more since the laptop it was on is pretty much mine now :p Oh well!

I am living every single Y2K girl's twisted fucking fantasy.

Thank you for reading. Please look at my website so i can feel even a FLICK of adrenaline and want to add more pages. 

Please!

~Cat